Tonight.
Matthew got his adenoids out this past weekend, and he seemed to be right back to his normal self the next day.. But three days later, he has been throwing up, headaches, and his stomach hurts. I'm worried, and hope he didn't catch the stomach bug Steve had this past weekend.
It's nights like this when I don't like being alone. Being a residents wife, you need to learn to like being alone, and sometimes I do, but not tonight. Not like this.
While Matthew is showering, I'm typing this. I'm clearly not alone, but yet I feel lonely. Steve is zonked out on the couch as he is exhausted, and again, getting back to normal after a sick weekend.
Why do I get in these funks? At times I love being the only one caring for my kids. It makes me feel like I'm making a difference. But when I have the lonely feeling looming over me, I feel anxiety. Like things are much worse than they are. I panic, I start getting really nervous. Ugh.
Here is to hoping Matthew feels better. I guess, I will really feel not alone if he has to stay up puking. But I hope not. Not because of me, but because I feel he needs a good nights rest, even if school is out of the question at this point.
Also, I deactivated Facebook. Not because of my mood, but because I really want to keep this a diary.
Hoping tomorrow is better.
Jazmin
Oh, you didn't notice the bushes outside your window rustling? You aren't alone....mwuahahahahhaha.....I am just a windowpane away.... :-p Love ya, doll! We all go through these feelings, but I imagine it is really hard with a husband hardly at home. :( Good for backing away from FB..I notice it makes me feel even more alone when I am checking it all the time!!!
ReplyDeleteXoxox,
Em
Oh Jaz, seriously motherhood is hard, especially when the hubs is smack dab in school! In times like that, kneel down and pray!! It will do a world of good. If anyone can get through this phase, it's you. You are tough. But I know how you feel! We all get into these funks and it's not fun. But start realizing what you have and that this will be over before you know it and you'll be stinkin' rich! ;)
ReplyDelete